Monday, July 13, 2009

Panhandling act needs work

So I was sitting on the subway, reading a comic book with a Captain Marvel in it, when one of NYC's ubiquitous Subway Panhandlers entered. He was a short, middle-aged man loudly mumbling something about how he was starving and just needed five dollars for "a cheeseburger and a Pepsi-Cola."

Now, I will happily give money to an entertainer on the street or in the subway if I truly enjoy them, but I am not in a financial position to donate to everyone who walks through a subway car with their hand out, and this guy did not seem entirely kosher (meat & cheese notwithstanding).

He was very loudly and annoyingly moaning about how hungry he was, so I offered him a Nutter-Butter I happened to have in my bag. He said he couldn't eat sugar.

BUSTED!

I pointed out that he was asking for a Pepsi-Cola. Pepsi has sugar in it! He stammered out "I...I meant Diet Pepsi! Diet Pepsi!" I continued to point out the fallacy in his pitch. and told him to take a hike. He beat it out of that subway car in the next stop.

EPILOGUE:

A few weeks later I saw the same guy in the same subway line. He was still loudly mumbling/moaning about being hungry and needing money. I asked him if he ever got his burger and Pepsi-Cola, then loudly remembered that he didn't eat sugar. He beat it off of that subway car right quick.

No comments: